Author Archives: geisha64

     Well I’ve done it.  I got my daughter out of an abusive relationship.

     The guy was always yelling at her. He was starting to push her around.  My daughter has been very depressed for a long time. It’s been years since I’ve seen her happy.    I was tired of seeing her crying.   Do you know how hard it is to watch your child just shut down and give in to someone that’s a jerk? Well I do. My heart ached for her for so long.

     My daughter use to have fight in her. I watched while all the fight was taken away.   I couldn’t stand it anymore.    I would pray and I didn’t seem to be getting any answers. But the other day, it came to me to just tell her I wanted her to leave this guy. Believe it or not , she said she would do it. So we planned a day for him to be at work, and we moved her out. She’s still depressed from the idea of leaving, but now she can start rebuilding her life.

She has a child to think of. Now she can concentrate on her and making their life better. Of course it’s going to take time for all this to come together. But it will. I’m so proud that she left him, and now she can focus on how to live her life and not always be afraid. That means a lot.

A person shouldn’t have to be afraid of living. Everyone should have a decent life. I myself went through the same things as I was trying to find a life. The guys I was with would beat me , cheat on me. The whole shebang. It took a long time to figure out that I didn’t have to be anyone’s bunching bag . I now live a good life with a man that loves me , and I love him. There’s no beatings or distrust in our relationship. It’s glorious to have that. That’s what I want for my daughter. I have to believe she will get it someday, like I did. Thank you God, for helping me be strong enough to help her out of that situation.

I will write later !!!

Sept. 21st, 2022.

As the title says, life is shocking. Our granddaughter has been doing things that would make a sailor blush. She is 11 years old, and has a better vocabulary then I do.

The things she can come up with is shocking. I watch her. She is very intelligent. She is a great actor, she likes to dance, she enjoys cooking. She loves to mess with make up. She can put it on like a pro. She looks very attractive. She is a fabulous child. But there have been things she does that left us all so dumbfounded, that we just stared at each other for quite a while. I mean (WOW).

It’s sad that she feels she has to do these things. She thinks it’s innocent. But far from it. It’s sad because she is so smart. The problem here is, she has been mistreated by her father. Whom she no longer sees. Her mom has to work a lot to keep a roof over their heads. So she is a lone most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, when she’s not at home, she is here with me and papaw. So she is being watched. But she retreats to her room, and gets on her phone . We assume she’s playing games or watching YouTube. But oh my goodness she was doing far worse than that.

I will not go into details, but what she had been doing was so wrong. Her mother went through her phone and found out all this stuff. The biggest mistake that was made, was not going through it sooner. Now we have to deal with the fall out. It’s so sad that this is what comes of a bad father and a mom so busy with work, that no one noticed.

The fact remains, it was really predictable. If we had been paying more attention , we would have known more.

Also to, mental illness runs in my family. I’m bipolar. My daughter is bipolar, has ADHD, and anxiety. So we figure out granddaughter has issues too.

So it’s predictable that she does odd things. She always saying she’s depressed. Or she says things about suicide. I’m always watching her or trying to talk to her about her issues. Sometimes she talks sometimes she doesn’t. But I guess we weren’t watching close enough to know what she was really doing. Shame on us.

I feel like not such a good grandma, my daughter feels like crap and not a good mom. We all feel responsible for how she is. If it was so predictable , why didn’t we see it coming or why didn’t we check her phone sooner ? Because we are imperfect people that don’t stop and think. That whole problem with most everyone, they don’t stop and think. Predictable,, right ?

You did everything you could to mess up my life. I’m so glad I stopped being your wife.

You lied and cheated and even hit me when you could. You acted like a fool, not nice like you should.

You messed with our daughter like she was a toy. You turned her to sex just for your own joy.

You did things to her, you should have been arrested for. She was your prisoner and a lot more.

How dare you touch my daughter like that. Sneaking around like an evil cat.

You’re a no account person, a man to be dispised. You made me cry like a little girl, to think of you hurting my daughter brought tears to my eyes.

I hated you with all I am, and still do to this day. I didn’t know what you were doing, so you got away.

But my son told me things about you that makes a lot of sense. The more we know about you, the more we resent.

You might have pulled a lot of things that brighten your day, but in the long run , things goes my way.

We knew you were the devil. Using magic when you wanted. But once we caught on we were smarter than your bottom.

You have no power over us, and you know you don’t. Even though you tried really hard to twist my mind,, you can’t do it anymore, because I’m one of a kind.

You’re Satan himself, and I’ve seen it so clear. The day you said you could read my mind, but you couldn’t get near.

I know more than you know and it makes you mad,, but I’ve never been so happy and never so glad.

Drop off the earth and no one would care. Take your magic with you and disappear in the air.

Make no mistake that we have God on our side, so trust me you’d better run and hide.

July 21st, 2022.

The sky cries and so does my eyes. The clouds are heavy. My face feels like the clouds, weighed down with sadness.

I have no joy to spread around. My head hangs so low it hits the ground. It’s hard to pick myself up when you don’t feel loved.

Where does love come from ? Friends and family bring this forth. But I feel neither one thru the course of my life.

I’ve never felt so alone as I do now. Where’s the people that’s suppose to make me feel happy and glad ? They’re busy with there own lives like I don’t exist.

If I were to die, no one would care . Everyone is too into themselves for time to spare.

Why must I suffer so much, all by myself. To have friends would be a blessing . But as for me people don’t like being around the Depressing.

Matthew 6:34 –

Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties.

James 3:17-

The wisdom from above is , reasonable.

Proverbs 17:27 –

A discerning man will remain calm.

Ecc. 4: 6-

Better is a handful of rest , than two handfuls of hard work and chasing after the wind.

Proverbs 11:17-

A kind man benefits himself, but the cruel person brings trouble on himself.

Mark 12:31-

You must love your Neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.

Proverbs 12: 25-

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.

1peter 5:7

While you throw all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Phil. 4: 6,7

Do not be anxious over anything, but in prayer and supplication along with Thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known.(7) and the peace of God that surpasses All understanding will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.

This is for everyone that suffers anxiety.

It’s Sunday, and I don’t feel really well. We had steak last night and it mad me sick. I was sick all night. Other than that 8ts ok.

I can’t sleep. It’s this way all the time. I just can’t sleep at night.

I’m always up,no matter what. Then I sleep a lot during the day. Sometimes I don’t know which way is up.

My sleep cycle is off so much. It really sucks . I wish I could be like everyone else. I sit alone at night watching t.v. I really want to sleep. Maybe one day.

Jan. 26, 2022

Why are you keeping my grand kids from me. You know I loved them , and I know you could see.

Your mad at me for making you move out. But all you wanted to do is scream and shout.

You cussed and yelled and told us what to do. In our house no less,, we got over it and was through.

You cussed the kids, then wanted to shout rules, what kind of parents are you to act like fools.

We love those kids, but yet you keep them from us because your mad. Well I can’t tell how much that makes me sad.

One day you will see how wrong you are to keep them from us. You always think your right, but your very wrong in your thinking. It will come back and bite you as fast as someone blinking.

Your a Narcissist which is a fool in capital letters. No one can reason with you , and no one wants too.

We love our grand kids, and you have no right to keep them from me. You have hurt me so bad, I hope your happy.

I will write later !!!

Jan. 12th, 2022

The problem with people today is their selfish. It’s all about them. If you think about it, every one is always saying ” What about me”. I do it sometimes too.

That’s mostly when I’m depressed and not thinking of anyone but me . There are people out there that just don’t care for others. They might care, but they don’t show it.

My nephew is one of those people. He was living with his mom, his whole family was. A wife and 3 kids. My sister raised the one little boy. His mom would wait until my sister got home from work in the mornings, and give her the baby and go back to bed. She handed the baby over to her to take care of . So she could sleep !

They lived with them for 5 years and my sister and her husband always had the one boy. The other kids were a baby and a 10 year old girl. But everywhere they went they had this child. Because the mom and dad didn’t want to be parents to him.

After 5 years they finally decided that they wanted to set rules for this boy. My sister didn’t have a problem with it, but all these parents ever did was cuss and yell at the kids. I mean the father especially would really yell loud at this boy , and cuss him. A little boy! Who does that?

Well needless to say they never really got along in the house. The son thought he should be the boss over everything. But that’s not how it should go when you live with someone.. This went on and on for A very long time. .Finally my sister and her husband had , had enough. They told them they should leave and get a place of their own. Instead of just leaving like adults, they flew into a Frenzy and the boys wife started hitting my sister. Well that didn’t go over to well. My sister stopped her by grabbing her hands, and said you won’t hit me anymore.

So because of these selfish people, my sister and her husband can no longer see the kids. My nephew is a fool. He won’t even let his own mom see the kids. He’s doing this out of spite , because they told them to move. See, my nephew had it made there. My sister would work , then come home every morning to a sink full of dirty dishes. My nephew’s wife never helped in the house at all, and didn’t even work. Has does that grab you ?

My nephew worked, but he still didn’t help in the house. All he did was complain how the house was a dump. I’ve never seen the like. What kid doesn’t respect their parents while living under their roof ? I sure respected my parents. We weren’t raised like that. I told my sister a long time ago , that she should make the kids leave so they could have peace in that house.

She wouldn’t listen to me, I talk for no reason. She said she kept praying about it, but she wasn’t getting answers. Well the answer was to make them get out and stand on their on two feet. They finally got out , but now her son won’t let her see the grand children. I’m sorry that happened, but its for the best that they found their own home.

Those kids were screwing everything up. I’m glad my sister and her husband finally took a stand with them. Like I said in the beginning, all they cared about were themselves. They didn’t care how it was effecting the kids or my sister and her husband, as long as they got to spend their money the way they wanted to, and to have a live in maid, like my sister.

My nephew is a nut case and so is his wife. They both need professional help with there attitudes . My nephew’s wife is on Prozac, and he should be on something for his issues. But he will probably never get the help he needs. They are not good parents. All they do is yell at and cuss their kids. It’s ashame the kids can’t move out. But they’re to little. I can’t stand my nephew. I just don’t have anything to do with either one of them..I don’t want to see them yell and scream at those children.

Maybe someday they will get a clue, on how to be good people. But right now , they are selfish and stupid.

I will write later !!!