Category Archives: Uncategorized

Oct.10th,2021

My ten year old granddaughter comes home and tells us that she gets bullied at school. They call her names ,she says they sometimes hit her. They tell her she is worthless and useless. What kind of kids are people raising?

Don’t you know that when you get bullied you feel like crap ? Some children have even killed themselves because of this. Why don’t you people teach your kids not to bully?

I can tell you why, because you bully people too. You think you are better than anyone else, and you don’t care how you treat others. Well guess what. We are just as good as you, maybe better. So get off your high horse and stop being fools.

Every person in this world is worth something. Even if their bad. God will take care of those people. So stop acting like your god. Little kids don’t need to be picked on. They need to be loved and treated with respect. They are people too, and they deserve to be treated as such.

Teach your kids how to get along with others and respect them. Not laugh at them or make fun of them. For God sake people, your adults, start acting like it. Most of you people couldn’t have lived my life. I been beat on by several different men. I’ve been paralyzed,. I been miss treated my whole life by people like you, and I’m still a better person than you’ll ever be. I know how to treat people with respect and kindness. Take some lessons people, get a grip. Niceness is not a bad thing.

Stop being idiots and be kind. Children are worth everything we have. Treat them better. Treat them like you want to be treated. Not like dogs. Life is too short to be stupid. Teach your kids better and they will be better.

I will write later !!!

Oct. 5th, 2021.

Black cats are interesting. Some say they are a witches cat. Could be. Or they could be a devil’s cat. Who knows?

They sneak around where ever they go. You don’t hear a black cat. You barely see them . But they see you.

They stay under low places to hide from people. Or they climb to the highest place where you can’t see them. They look down upon you like a bird from the sky.

When you do see them , they’re either running under a ladder your on or under your feet or behind your back. Anyway at all so they can trip you up.

If you have one in your house , it sits under a table or couch and just stares at you. Like it’s thinking real hard about it’s next move.

Look into it’s eyes , they look evil. It’s like they’re looking right into you. Not through you, but into to you like they know you intimately. Like they know what you’re thinking. That’s how they stay a step ahead of you at all times.

Black cats can be the most friendly cats there are. They rub upon you, they jump on you wanting to be petted. But what they’re really doing is getting the vibes of your body. Getting the feel of your being. This is how they out smart you.

They always manage to get outside at night. This is so they can lurk around and see how many sins they can join in on before daylight. You would be surprised at what all these cats do when their out on the town. I’d love to be a fly on the garage.

During the day they come to your door wanting in so they can eat and take a long nap to rest up for the next night that there out and about. Remember , you call these pets!

I will write later!!!

Oct. 3rd, 2021

Grief is a personal issue we all have to bare one time or other. Whether it’s aunt’s or uncles , or a friend or neighbor. We will all go through it.

But when it’s someone close to you like a child or parent , it hurts like hell. I lost my mother 21 years ago. It still seems like yesterday. I think of her a lot. I still miss her. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long since I’ve talked to her or seen her. It hurts like crazy that she is gone. But most of the time I go on with life like everyone else.

Something happened to me the other day. I was reading a post on Facebook, it said to always treat your mother right and love her , because you never know when the light will go out. Well as soon as I read that , I started bawling like a baby.

It dawned on me that I’ve been grieving for years over my mom, but I never grieved the day she died. That day was all a blur. My son and nephew were in the room with her when she took her last breaths. My son came down stairs to tell me. I had been trying to rest in the back of my truck, because I had been up with her for so long. I remember he was crying, and he said , ” grandma is gone”. I remember getting up and running back to the hospital, but I can’t tell you how I got upstairs.

I remember getting to the visiting room door and seeing my brother crying. Then I was in her room. I don’t remember how I got there. She was lying still, no movement. I went over to her and said , ” oh mom”. So many things went through my brain. None of us knew what to think or do. She had a little blood coming from her mouth. Me and my sister stood in front of her so dad couldn’t see. I don’t remember crying.

We all left and went home. I remember saying when we pulled in the drive, ” I can’t believe she did that”. My husband asked me , ” did what”. I said “I can’t believe she just died like that”.

We were all so busy trying to get use to the idea she was gone , that I didn’t even grieve that day. When I read that post about the light going out, I just started bawling because , it just hit me , that I hadn’t grieved for my mother on that paticular day.

I was telling my husband about it, and I told him that I didn’t realize that I wanted to scream ” please don’t go, come back mom ” . We were so busy with just the being gone, that I didn’t think about anything else.

I needed her to be here. I needed her to be ok. I’ve been needing her all along. But she is gone. I told my husband, that If I had been clear headed , I would have thrown myself on my mom and begged her to stay. But I couldn’t think straight. So the other day I grieved for the loss of my mom on the day she died. I cried a long time . I didn’t think I was going to stop. I wanted to run into the middle of the yard yelling ” please come back, please don’t go”. But I kept a hold of myself and I didn’t so that.

But that is what grief is all about , never knowing when something is going to hit you and you will start crying. I felt kinda stupid,. But I felt better too. So call me crazy , I don’t care. I love my mom and I always will. I will always miss her. But she is with me in my heart , always.

I will write later !!!

Oct. 2nd,2021.

Out of the past the future holds. Out of the future the presents unfolds.

The present unfolds the future. The past foretells our luck. Luck can tell what could happen, or it could tell what is our passion.

Our passion is what ourselves want. Or it could be what we dream about. Sometimes it gives us clout. But sometimes it makes us pout.

The present takes hold of our future, like standing in the middle of a circle. We run round and round and never find solace. We fall back to the beginning of the surface.

When that happens we either start over or begin again, regardless of the sin.

Sometimes we melt like butter. Sometimes we stand strong. Either way , it could be right or wrong.

But when we sort out our life , it can be a delight. Or it could be dispair. Would anyone care?

Only we have the right to our past , future and present. Everyone else is along for the ride. Let’s hope they can keep the stride.

The older you get , try not to faulter . It’s gets harder going to the aulter. No one is perfect ,this we know. But be a player and enjoy the show.

Hopefully you will have a pleasant present. Without too many mistakes from your past. For what the future brings is all up to you, only you can see it through.

Learn from what happens in your past. Be very careful for your future, Because it can be very futile. Try to live the present with a happy face and make your life a happy place.

I will write later !!!

Oct. 1st ,2021.

Imagine a world without corruption and violence. That would be great. To walk down the street without worrying about getting run down by a car or killed by some fool.

To be able to do what we want without getting hurt or sick. To be able to pet a tiger or a snake without fear . That would be something. As much as love animals, I think that would be cool. To play with a panther without getting hurt. To run with the elk or walk with the ducks or sit and let birds land on you that wouldn’t otherwise. That would be so awesome.

To have a world were people didn’t die, they just went on living and enjoying life. But they could walk were ever they wanted. Because they wouldn’t have to worry about sickness. There wouldn’t be any. We could go anywhere we wanted to go. Just take off walking.

There would be no more sadness, or violence or greed or selfishness. Imagine if people were like that. We could all live together in peace and harmony. Get together and do things . Such as plant gardens , just enjoy being together. We could have homes that were very nice and liveable. We wouldn’t have to worry about someone making fun of us or being rude to us. We could be one big happy people. Helping each other with our work without complaint. Wouldn’t that be great ?

Of course it would. But such a dream , could it ever be? That my dears only god knows. Time will tell what will really happen.

I will write later !!!

Sept. 27th,2021.

I’ve been feeling kinda out of sorts. I think I’ve been depressed. My depression is different than it use to be. I use to get so down that I would go to bed and stay there. Now I just feel lazy and no account.

I catch myself not wanting to do anything. I just want to sit and not be bothered . I have no gumption to do anything. Usually in the fall I get down. But it usually hits me pretty hard. This time is just there enough to be irritating.

I go through a lot of nights where I can’t sleep. It’s 2:13 am in the morning as it is. I just can’t sleep. I start out by going to sleep, but then I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. So I get up. I turn the T.V. on and watch whatever is on. Trust me it gets boring.

I get tired of feeling useless. When I’m like this I feel like I’m walking around in a fog. Nothing seems real. I can talk to some one, and it’s like I was dreaming. I don’t always remember everything that gets said. I try to remember things so that I can tell my husband or my kids. I forget so much stuff.

I forget even when my kids were young. They will tell me a story, and I have no idea what they are talking about. I’ve had a breakdown before. So now it’s hard to remember things. I can remember when I was a kid, but it’s hard to remember my own kids child hood. That is sad. Those memories mean something to me. I want to remember.

Things I say and do are in slow motion. I know that sounds silly. But it’s true. Getting up going across the room is hard. Just moving is hard. I just want to sit there and not be bothered. How’s that for living? I can tell you how it is ,, it sucks big time to be like that. I want to feel normal like other people, but there is no hope of that. So I just have to suffer until it goes away. That could last a few days or weeks. Trust me , I’ve been depressed my whole life so I would know.

I look forward to the day it goes away. To get back to what I think is normal for me. That’s all I have to look forward to until is all said and done.

I will write later !!!

Who suffers depression like I do . Let me know. Maybe we could talk.

Sept. 22, 2021

Since my daughter has moved out , I’ve done a lot of thinking. She told me one day that I wasn’t a very good mother. Well that kinda hurt my feelings. I couldn’t figure out what she was talking about. I had done everything I could think to do as a mom.

She and her daughter lived with us for years. We took care of her daughter a lot. We took care of her. When she was little I did the best I could to take care of her. I did all the motherly things that mother’s do. I would get in between her step father and her when he would go off on her as a little girl. I would take a beating for her, so she didn’t have to.

There were so many things that I did for my daughter to prove I was a good mom. But there’s one thing I didn’t do. Unfortunately I suffered depression all my life. So in between fighting with husband’s and working, I would go to bed with depression. If something happened that I couldn’t handle, I would go to bed so I could sleep , so that I didn’t have to think. That is how I handled my depression. I was always so tired that I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other.

Due to that reason I didn’t know the feelings my kids were having inside themselves. My daughter had as many emotional problems as me, but I didn’t pay that much attention because I was always messed up. I could not give her the real attention she needed from a mom. The kind that knew when she was feeling sad or anxious. The kind that would know when she needed help with her own thoughts.

Depressed people are very selfish. They don’t mean to be. But they are. All you think about when your depressed is yourself and why you feel that way. You don’t worry about others. Depression keeps you hostage in a world of your own. It robs you of a life thats real. It makes you feel worthless, weak, unloved, lonely, and hopeless.

So when my daughter was hurting I couldn’t be there for her. I thought I was. But it wasn’t good enough. She needed me to understand her feelings. She needed me to worry about how she was feeling instead of my own feelings. I needed to listen to her more , try to understand more. Her feelings counted. But I was too busy crying for me. I hate depression. It’s a night mare. I love my kids beyond words. So I told her how sorry I was for not being there for her when she needed me. I told her she was right about me being a bad mom. I told her it was ok not to like me, as long as she loved me. She said to me, ” I appreciate that mom!”

That made me feel good to get the truth out . It’s important to tell your kids when you’re wrong. Let them know you’re not perfect. After all, you’re just human. No one is perfect. Love your kids enough to be honest. Love yourself enough.

My kids and granddaughter and husband are the most important thing to me. I love you guys !

I will write later !

Sept. 14th, 2021.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand , it’s rude people. You go into Walmart and people stand in the middle of the isle just so they can talk to there friends. They don’t care if you’re trying to get by. To me that is rude.

Then people don’t excuse themselves when they cut in front of you. That is rude. People just don’t care anymore about being rude to others.

When we were at Cliffy Falls the other day we passed these young people , this boy was out in front. He was probably around 18 or 19 years old. Three others were a little bit behind him. I got a little ahead of my sister so I stopped and turned around to wait on her. When I turned around , I caught him making fun of the way me and my sister were walking.

My sister walks with a limp , because she has a bad leg. And I don’t know how I look when I walk. But this boy was trying to act out how we were walking. He did not know I was going to turn around, but when I did he also turned around and saw me looking at him, he quickly turned around as to not see me anymore. That made me so mad I wanted to go back to him and tell off. That boy was really lucky that I didn’t tell him off. When you make me mad , you have hell to pay. But I was angry the rest of the day.

For one thing he was old enough to know better. People should not make fun of others. For one thing me and my sister are not real young anymore and that punk doesn’t know what all we’ve been through in our life that makes us walk funny. I’ve got a bad back. My sister has a bad leg. There are so many things that’s happened in our lives that makes us walk different than other people. I was paralyzed as a child, they say it was a spinal infection. My sister was in a wheel chair for a while, and there’s been plenty of other things happen to us. I would have loved to have filled that punk in on all that stuff .

Before you make fun of people , think ! One of these days it could be you. How would you like it if someone made fun of you for something you couldn’t help ? Never make fun of people , be nice and considerate of others. Just like you want them to be to you . Life is too short to be mean to people. Be kind !

I will write later !!!

Sept. 14th,2021.

We had a really good vacation. We spent every day together. I love spending time with my husband. I wish he could retire. But if he did, that would mean we would be old. I don’t want to be old. So I’ll just take vacations.

We did a lot of running around, and shopping. We went fishing. As usual I always caught more fish than Troy. It was fun.

We went to Cliffy Falls on Saturday . That was rough. That place is nothing but hills. There were steps everywhere we went. We climbed so many steps that day, the next day I was sore. We went through a tunnel. That was fun. We got to see all the water falls there were. They were so pretty . It’s just ashame they weren’t running heavy that day. There was only a little water coming off of them. But they were still nice to look at.

I’d like to go back there when the leaves are changing colors . I bet that would be beautiful. It was such a nice day. It wasn’t too hot, it was just right for walking through the forest.

Then Sunday we went to Tiemeyers. That’s a place you can go to and get watermelons and pumpkins and other things. They have birds there you can look at. They have a mini golf course to play on. They have hay rides. They have goats you can pet. It’s a nice place. They a store to shop in. Troy’s cousin owns the place. Anyway , it’s nice.

So Troy went back to work yesterday. Now it’s the same old same old. But we had a good time together. I always have a good time with Troy. I love him so much. Until next vacation.

I will write later!!!

Sept. 10th,2021.

Troy’s been on vacation this week. We haven’t done a whole lot , but that’s ok, I just like being with him.

We have went shopping a few times , and we’ve set up late and watch T.V. .

We went fishing at the Clark County State Park Wednesday. We caught 18 fish. 15 of them were mine. I always out fish Troy. I wasn’t getting anywhere with my bobber on, so I took it off and fished on the bottom. Then I started catching them left and right. I loved it. I don’t like fishing and not catching anything.

Thursday we went to visit and old friend, and she has a pond on her property, so she let us fish there. We caught 15 fish. I caught 10 and Troy caught 5. Once again I out fished him. I just love it when a plan comes together. LoL!!!

Then we went to North Vernon to get Troy some shirts for work. Then we stopped at Burger King. Then we came home. We really haven’t done much, but I just like being with Troy.

I really enjoy my husband and his company. We get along great and we have fun together. I will dread him going back to work. I will probably get depressed. Once he goes back to work, I’ll be alone again during the day. Except for my animals. But I will survive. I’ll just do like I always do when he’s at work. Paint or draw , or take a nap.

I will write later !!!