Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nov. 30th, 2021

I wish someone would care.

It’s too much to bare.

Dear God bring me out of this dispair!!!

I will write later !!!

Nov. 10th, 2021

There’s a Darkness about me that not too many people know about. I can’t describe it. It comes over me when I least expect it. I can be the sweetest person on earth, but then this darkness settles in and I’m a hateful kind of person.

I get in a mood that’s hard to explain. I get angry. Things make me mad that most people wouldn’t even think about. I don’t know where it comes from. I know I’m bipolar, but I wonder sometimes if thats what it is or if I’m just a bad person.

I don’t like being dark. There’s things that enter my mind that are not normal. Can a person with mental issues think this way? I don’t do anything, but I get angry over things that are silly.

Then the darkness causes doubt and worthlessness. It causes me to wonder about people. Why are we here, what’s there to do with ourselves? Life gives us chances to do good, and I do the best I can. But there are times when I think people are too selfish and don’t think of others often enough.

My darkness takes me to the point of wanting to tell people what I think. But most people couldn’t handle what I have to say. As it is, I don’t have friends. I’m too honest. People don’t want to hear the truth, they want lies. I won’t lie unless I’m trying to be nice. But I have a strong outlook on nasty people.

I believe I sit in my darkness all alone. No one thinks like me. I’m one in a million. If you got to know me, you’d like me. But you wouldn’t like my straight forwardness.

When I come out of the dark, I think differently. But I’m still pretty honest. It’s like the darkness effects how I handle things , and how I think. No one is like me. I would like to meet someone who thinks like me so I can ask them how they get by.

It’s lonely in the dark, but it doesn’t go on and on, it’s only there for awhile. But I really don’t like being in the dark. I like being just me , and feeling good.

I will write later!!!

Nov. 8th,2021.

Life with me is very boring. I know that. But it’s my life. I’ve been depressed a couple of times lately. So I haven’t felt like writing. That happens a lot. I get depressed , and then I don’t want to do anything. So I don’t. But then I get back to normal again , and it’s ok. It’s just what I have to go through. I should be use to it, but no one ever gets use to being depressed. I’ve suffered for years with depression. It’s always the same. It sucks and I hate it. But it’s my life. So there you go. Just be thankful you’re not me.

We got a new dog and cat over the weekend. The dog’s name is Evie. The cats name is Trinity. They are nice pets. The dog just loves my husband. She followers him everywhere. She sleeps on his side of the bed. She just can’t get enough of him. It’s kinda cute. The cat is still hiding, she won’t come out for a while. Cats are like that. They hide until they get use to where they are. I hope she comes out soon. I would love to hold her and love her. But I will just wait a few days. So now we have 3 dogs , 5 cats, 3 birds, and 4 hamsters. What a crew. I love them all. Animals are great , if you love them . Don’t have any if you don’t love them. They deserve to be loved like people. They are family. We take our dogs to the store and other places with us. They love it and so do we. Enjoy your pets, so they can enjoy you.

I will write later !!!

Oct.19th,2021

Never be anxious. Matt. Chapter 6 verse 31.

God has given his word that he will care for his loyal servants , and he feels obligated to fulfill that promise. ( Ps. 31:1-3) In addition ,God knows that we would be devastated if he did not care for those who are part of his family. He promises to provide for us both materially and spirituality, and nothing will stop him from fulfilling that promise! ( Matt. 6:30-33; 24:45)

When we remember why God keeps his promises , we can face economic challenges with confidence. Consider the example of the first – century Christians. When great persecution arose against the congregation in Jerusalem , ” all except the apostles were scattered .” (Acts 8: 1) Think what that would have meant. Economic hardship ! Christians likely lost their homes and businesses . Yet , God did not abandon them ; neither did they lose their joy. God supported those faithful Christians , and he will support us .

I will write later !!!

Oct. 19th, 2021.

Mark chapter 6 , verse 31

Come …into an isolated place and rest up a little.

Regarding work , balance is important to write : ” There is an appointed time for … every activity.” He mentioned planting , building, weeping, dancing, and other activities.( Eccl. 3: 1-8). Clearly , two fundamental aspects of life are work and rest. Jesus had a balanced view of work and rest. On one occasion , the apostles returned from a preaching tour . They were so busy that ” they had no leisure time even to eat a meal.” Jesus told them the words of today’s text. (Mark 6: 30-34) Even though he and his disciples were not always able to get rest they wanted , Jesus knew that they all needed to rest. At times , some rest or change truly is needed. We can see that from an arrangement that God made for his ancient people ——the weekly Sabbath . We are not under the Mosaic Law , yet we can benefit from considering what it said about the Sabbath.

I will write later !!!

Oct. 18th, 2021.

Hebrews chapter 6 verse 10.

God is not unrighteous so as to forget your work and the love you showed for his name.

I thought I would right a daily text from the bible. It’s about how God doesn’t forget the things we do for him. Like when we talk to others about his word. Or the kind gestures you make to others. He will not forget all the things you do in his name.

I will write later !!!

Oct. 14,the,2021.

The Rainbow is a beautiful thing. It comes into the sky because God made a promise to the world never to flood it with water like he did in Noah’s day. You can read that in Genesis chapter 9: verses 11 thru 16.

But the world has made it ugly. They have made it a gay symbol. I think that is sad to take something so beautiful and make it ugly that way. I know a lot of people won’t agree, but I don’t care. Why don’t you pick out something else to show off you gayism with. Like why don’t you use a mushroom or something like that .

Believe me , being gay isn’t pretty, it goes against gods laws , and being normal. I’m not against gay people. I just don’t like what they do. I have plenty of gay people I talk to and get along with. I know they are nice people. They just shouldn’t do the things they do. But I keep it to myself.

I thought I would speak out about it here, because no one reads my stuff anyways. But if you do read it and your gay, I don’t dislike you, only what you do.

I will write later!!!

Oct. 12th,2021.

I’m feeling Depressed today. I can’t say why. I just feel low. It’s fall, sometimes I get depressed in the fall. I can’t figure out why. Unless it’s because everything is dying off. Everything looks so ugly when it’s just the sticks on the trees.

When there is no leaves , it looks bare. The grass dies, everything green goes away.. There’s nothing pretty to look at.

It’s like the world closes it’s door to beauty. Then winter comes on and it gets worse. Things get muddy, it’s cold and you can’t go outside. Sometimes it snows , and I don’t like the snow because snow can be dangerous. It makes things slick. People can have accidents. I just don’t like it.

Anyway I feel sad and I hate it. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sleep. Sleep takes me away from thinking. It’s my escape from how I feel. I don’t have the energy to do anything. Sometimes just getting up out of a chair is too much for me. That’s what depression does, it makes you feel so tired and useless. I sometimes don’t feel loved or worthy of anyone. I just don’t have anything to say to people.

People don’t know what to say to me. There’s nothing they can say. Depression is something that just takes time to go away. It’s like any other illness. You have to just ride it out. But it hurts like crazy. Those who suffer know what I mean. Depression is very lonely.

I will write later !!!