Author Archives: geisha64

Nov. 30th, 2021

I wish someone would care.

It’s too much to bare.

Dear God bring me out of this dispair!!!

I will write later !!!

Nov. 10th, 2021

There’s a Darkness about me that not too many people know about. I can’t describe it. It comes over me when I least expect it. I can be the sweetest person on earth, but then this darkness settles in and I’m a hateful kind of person.

I get in a mood that’s hard to explain. I get angry. Things make me mad that most people wouldn’t even think about. I don’t know where it comes from. I know I’m bipolar, but I wonder sometimes if thats what it is or if I’m just a bad person.

I don’t like being dark. There’s things that enter my mind that are not normal. Can a person with mental issues think this way? I don’t do anything, but I get angry over things that are silly.

Then the darkness causes doubt and worthlessness. It causes me to wonder about people. Why are we here, what’s there to do with ourselves? Life gives us chances to do good, and I do the best I can. But there are times when I think people are too selfish and don’t think of others often enough.

My darkness takes me to the point of wanting to tell people what I think. But most people couldn’t handle what I have to say. As it is, I don’t have friends. I’m too honest. People don’t want to hear the truth, they want lies. I won’t lie unless I’m trying to be nice. But I have a strong outlook on nasty people.

I believe I sit in my darkness all alone. No one thinks like me. I’m one in a million. If you got to know me, you’d like me. But you wouldn’t like my straight forwardness.

When I come out of the dark, I think differently. But I’m still pretty honest. It’s like the darkness effects how I handle things , and how I think. No one is like me. I would like to meet someone who thinks like me so I can ask them how they get by.

It’s lonely in the dark, but it doesn’t go on and on, it’s only there for awhile. But I really don’t like being in the dark. I like being just me , and feeling good.

I will write later!!!

Nov. 8th,2021.

Life with me is very boring. I know that. But it’s my life. I’ve been depressed a couple of times lately. So I haven’t felt like writing. That happens a lot. I get depressed , and then I don’t want to do anything. So I don’t. But then I get back to normal again , and it’s ok. It’s just what I have to go through. I should be use to it, but no one ever gets use to being depressed. I’ve suffered for years with depression. It’s always the same. It sucks and I hate it. But it’s my life. So there you go. Just be thankful you’re not me.

We got a new dog and cat over the weekend. The dog’s name is Evie. The cats name is Trinity. They are nice pets. The dog just loves my husband. She followers him everywhere. She sleeps on his side of the bed. She just can’t get enough of him. It’s kinda cute. The cat is still hiding, she won’t come out for a while. Cats are like that. They hide until they get use to where they are. I hope she comes out soon. I would love to hold her and love her. But I will just wait a few days. So now we have 3 dogs , 5 cats, 3 birds, and 4 hamsters. What a crew. I love them all. Animals are great , if you love them . Don’t have any if you don’t love them. They deserve to be loved like people. They are family. We take our dogs to the store and other places with us. They love it and so do we. Enjoy your pets, so they can enjoy you.

I will write later !!!