Sept. 3rd. 2021.
Dear mom,
I love you and I still miss you . You’ve been gone for 21 years, and it’s like yesterday when you were here. I wish I could talk to you. There are so many things I would like to ask you, but I can’t because you are not here.
You were such a good person, I’m like you in so many ways. My heart is as good as yours was. You were so special to me. You still are. No one should have to lose their mom , but we do anyways , whether we want to or not.
I love you so much it hurts Everytime I think of you. I have good thoughts of you, and I think of you everyday.
I say things that you use to say all the time. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself for saying those things because their funny. Other times I feel sad because your not here . I cry sometimes because I miss you so much, and want to see you. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you or talked to you. It’s hard to believe that it has been that long.
When you first died it was hard to talk about . It was hard to admit it. My heart was broken. I was in a deep depression. I didn’t think I would ever come out of it. It took a long time for me to get over the initial death. I’m still not use to you not being here. . I miss you so much. I want to talk to you so bad. I only wish you could answer me. But I’m doing okay. Troy is on vacation this week. We are not going to do too much, but hang around the house. But that’s okay, we don’t care if we go anywhere. We like being home, as long as we are together .
I wish you could see Desiree, she has gotten so big. She is almost 10 now. She will be 10 in October. She is growing up so fast. Talk about getting old, Everytime she gets old so do we. We are not getting any younger. The age thing really bothers me, but what can I do?. I guess that’s just life. You of course didn’t get any older. So I can’t complain. I love you mom, and I don’t take nothing for granted.
Kristina and Tommy seem to be doing okay. I don’t know if they will ever get married or not. But they might later in life. Kristina said she is a little gun shy of marriage, and I don’t blame her. A bad marriage can be like a death. Really hard to get through. I should know, I’ve been married enough times, and each time it sucked. But I made it through.
You were so special, there’s never been anyone one since you and there will be no one after you. Your ability to love was so great. I have that ability , the kind of love you feel till it hurts. Like you know or knew, it hurts like crazy to love that way. But what kind of people would we be without it? That’s what makes us so special.. Even if no one else knows it.
I will write later !!! Remember I love you always .
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